*the good and the bad*

{so last week i kind of left you hanging....i told you we had some exciting news and we did...but the week didn't end so well. so now i have both good and bad news. what should we start with? let's start with the bad and end with the good...ok? get your favorite cup of coffee or tea...because this is going to be kind of long...}

the bad...

{back in june we were told that our agency would probably run out of EPs in september (emigration permit which is issued by Korea and allows our child to travel to the US, without this, they do not get to travel. period.). b and i felt okay about this because our referral was the very beginning of april. we did not know how many EPs they had left but we felt like we would make the cut off. then in july, our agency (who is not just in atlanta, they are all over the us) informed us that they only had 8 EPs left and 4 of them had all ready been given to other families. they told us that the final 4 would be announced at the end of july. we asked how close we were to getting one and they said we were on the boarder line of not receiving one. we would have to wait until the end of july to see if we made it....so we waited. no news was given at the end of july. we waited all through august...with still no news. then on friday of last week, we received an e-mail from the corporate office. the final 4 EPs would not be issued all together. they were going to be spread out. these final four EPs would be given to Korean Heritage families who had already been matched with a child. the message we received on friday was pretty much read between the lines...Oliver will NOT be coming home this year. as of right now, we have no idea when he will come home. we have no idea how the EPs will be handled next year. to say that this news was hard to deal with is a complete understatement. b and i have been in this program for 30 months and it's had it's ups (in april 2011) and it's downs (all the other months).  friday's news left me with swollen eyes, a snotty nose, a massive headache and a shattered heart. we are still trying to process this and i'm still picking up the pieces of my heart. i can honestly say that i do not look forward to the remainder of this year and all the special holidays that come with it. if i could, i would close my eyes and wake up in 2012. i'm not normally raw with emotions on my blog, but the news we received on friday has left me feeling incredibly angry and sad at the same time. i know b and i will make it through this and one day (i've been saying this for years) we will hold our child for the first time and everything will feel right. i dream about that day...it's the only thing i can do right now.}

the good...

so last week i said i had some exciting news. well...after 7 years of living in our first "starter" home...we decided that we wanted someone else to enjoy it. we put a sign in the front yard on tuesday and now we are waiting for the right person or couple to come along. b and i had been tossing around the idea of a bigger house for a couples years now. it wasn't until recently when we finally decided that there was no better time (and really...as of friday...there is no better time then now). so we will be hopefully moving north of the city some time this year so that b can have a shorter commute and we will have a larger home. our house has given us many memories and as sad as it feels to put a sign in the yard, we are ready to move on. we call it a "fresh start". we hope that this process will not be long and drawn out. we would love to get a new home before the end of the year and start making it our home. what would be really good for us right now is to stay preoccupied with a new house until Oliver comes home. wish us luck...say a prayer or just send some positive vibes our way...we could really use them right now. thanks friends.}

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