7.17.2012

*three months*

{oliver with his best buddy, addie this past weekend.}

last week, we celebrated three months home! phew...looking back the first two months were so hard...filled with lots of up and down emotions. the third month was a little better. 

the biggest issues for us were (and still are) bonding and oliver's tantrums.

when oliver came home, he was accepting of me and would let me hold him or feed him. he would laugh if i did something funny and would mimic me if i made a face or a sign. as for comfort and affection..he wanted nothing to do with me..he preferred his appa. of course this was hard for me but i had to keep reminding myself that i was oliver's fourth mother (figure) and b was his second appa. we were also told by his foster mother before o came home that he preferred men..so it made sense. still...it didn't make it any easier.

i can say that after three months...we are still working on the affection between me and him but we have made great progress in the bonding department. just a couple weeks ago..i got my first kiss from o. i didn't ask for it and b didn't ask him to give me one. he did it all on his own and it almost made my heart burst. oliver will now sit in my lap on his own and wants me to hold him as we walk around the house. he will cuddle with me on the sofa and he gets the biggest smile when he points to me and i say "mommy" and then he points to himself and i say "oliver".

 the biggest issue we are still working on is his temper. oh man. our little guy has a BIG temper. he is getting better but he does not like to be told "no" in any form. o can be the sweetest thing but if he doesn't get his way or if you tell him "no"...there can be immediate tears, pumping of the fist, throwing the body to the floor and screaming at the top of the lungs. something that his foster mother said in one of her answers to our questions was that oliver cries more then any other child she has taken care of. after the first month...we saw what she was talking about. what she didn't tell us was that he loves to scream and his scream pierces right through you. like i said...this last month was better then the first two. actually i should say month two was the worst. b and i had to figure out quickly how to handle such a drastic attitude change. his scream would give me such anxiety. i had never been around a child with such a drastic temper and really felt helpless on what to do to stop it. luckily we figured out a way to calm him down and we don't deal with as many tantrums as we first did...oh and actually we have pretty much stopped the screaming part of the temper..thank goodness. (i spoke too soon..as of yesterday...we had several afternoon screaming episodes...oh well.)

oliver loves to learn! his biggest thing right now is learning sign language. whenever i introduce something new to him, he looks to me for the sign of it. he can pick up a sign very very quickly. it's amazing to watch. his english has picked up so much more in the last two weeks. it's so fun to see him try to figure out how to communicate with us. he babbles a lot which is super cute and he will nod his head a lot when he does his babble. if he hurts himself or was told not to do something...he will point to the object or hurt area and talk in his own "o" language. i will say that teaching oliver sign language was the best thing we could have done. it has greatly helped us with communication. oliver can sign over 50+ signs and he now says at least 12 english words.  his little voice is sweet and he has started to say "hi" in a really cute high pitch voice when we open his door in the morning or after nap. i think he might have learned that from me..i do get a little high with my voice when we come home and i say hi to ardie. ;)

oliver's appetite has changed since his first two months. he no longer eats everything we give him. i'm actually happy about that because to me it's like he's getting more comfortable with us. he has his favorites and will still try new things but he doesn't eat as much at each meal. he does love to snack though. i have learned to keep a snack pouch in my purse filled with goodies. he's a big snacker in the car and tries to get me to give him a snack when we are shopping. he loves to have his almond milk pretty much within the first five minutes of being awake in the morning and drinks water through out the day.

some fun things about o:
loves brushing his teeth when we brush ours
 watches chugginton in our bed in the morning and likes to snuggle with us during this show
he likes to "sing" with the end of the mickey mouse clubhouse show...so funny to see it
fascinated with all trucks, cars, trains and anything with wheels
looks through and "reads" board books all day...every day
likes to look through my magazines and point out cars, people and other odds and ends
elmo...picked up a book that had elmo on it and i told him who it was..from that day forward...he has loved elmo and says "elmo"...but he does not and has only watched sesame street once. funny right?
will cart his beloved leo the lion around the house and into his bed (during the middle of the night)
loves riding in the car as long as it's not 12 hours to Indiana. ;)
he's a champ at going out to dinner and will eat most of what we order
he's a big people watcher
has fun riding in a shopping cart and calls them cars. ha!
loves to swing at the park and drags his feet on the slides
his new thing is for me to hold him as i spin and spin and then put him on the floor. loves being dizzy. ha!
all animals...loves to know their names and their sound..his meow is the cutest!
he is a great helper...recently he started to help me put groceries away in the fridge and is trying to learn how to break down the boxes and put our bags away
will scarf down a classic donut from starbucks but no longer likes scones
eats tons of fruit...grapes, strawberries, peaches, apples and bananas (loves my banana smoothie)
enjoys dancing and listening to music..he has a great shoulder shrug and a cute little wiggle
loves stickers more then coloring
if me or b sits in front of o's high chair to feed or talk to him, he will rubs his feet on our legs..over and over

5 comments:

Bridgette said...

What a wonderful update! Happy 3 months home Oliver!

kelly said...

I just adore that photo!! Great update. Sounds like things are going well. It's wonderful that O is warming up to you, and that kiss is sooo special!! Don't worry about the tantrums - they are horrible, but you are not alone. We certainly had our fair share of them around here. They eventually fade and we found that things got MUCH easier when Max had more words and could communicate with us :)

b said...

great summary post d!!! i could picture each one of the items you listed, and you are right about all of them. we have definitely come a long way in the short 3 months since O has been with us, i know it will only get better as we understand him more and he understands us too. i look forward to what you can right for the 6 month post - his birthday, and hopefully our adoption finalization will be in there, b.

Grace said...

awww, what a great update! yup, things felt a lot better at 3 months, and i feel like at 6 months was when things really felt like we were all really adjusted. those tantrums can be rough (and oliver's sound especially rough with the screaming! :( ), but kelly's right, once there were more words, they got a lot better. and even though there are still some tantrums now, it's a lot easier to get through them because we can reason with him and he can share his feelings with us through words. hang in there!
and gosh, what a smartie with that signing! you need to post more videos of him signing!! love them!

Christine @ 12,450miles said...

What fabulous little tidbits here!!! I loved reading this! I REALLY LOVED reading about the kiss... sooo special! And the tantrums, ugh. We had them too, but as the communication picks up, they really should diminish. It's just going to keep getting better!