4.07.2011

*seeing his picture and a name*

on tuesday morning, b and i got to see our son for the first time. driving to our agency, i have to admit i was nervous but i didn't want to tell b because i was afraid he would wonder why i was feeling this way. right before we were about to get out of the car to walk in, he turned to me and said i'm nervous. after he said this to me, my nerves calmed down. i knew it was okay..like it was normal to be nervous. once we went into the building, we were greeted and told that the social worker would be right with us. my nerves came back. i think we waited for maybe five minutes and then the social worker came to get us. she took us to an office upstairs, we had never been upstairs so it was kind of a treat. it turns out the room was the director's office. inside, the director greeted us and then we all chit chatted about what had happened on monday. i still felt like i was on a cloud...dreaming all this.

we finally sat down and that's when they asked if we wanted to see our son. our son..did they just say our son? there were four pictures. two from his birth and two from his march well baby check up. when i first looked at his pictures, all i could think of is this really happening? am i really here? is this really MY son?

b and i commented on his beautiful long lashes, his full head of dark black hair, his sweet little lips, his kissable checks and his angelic appearance. he looked so peaceful and innocent in his march well baby pictures. he was sleeping and dressed in a yellow jumper and a pretty pink snow suit. we had a little chuckle about that but couldn't help but stare at this beautiful baby that was placed in front of us. he is ours and we are his. the director and the social worker both commented on how they thought he resembled b. i could finally see why they were saying this. his head was round like b's with dark black hair just like b's. we looked at his birth pictures and noted how tiny he looked. he little toes were sticking out from his over sized pants and his sweet little hands were curved around his head. he was the sweetest little baby i had ever seen. i wanted to really study the pictures but knew we had more to go over. so after looking at his pictures, the director started to discuss with us all his information. this is what i was looking forward to. i wanted to know more about our son. our s.o.n. i love to say this. i wanted to know where was he born, how he was doing, how big was he when we was born, how big is he now, is he healthy, what was his birth mother like and what type of foster family was taking care of him. all of this was answered. the first bit of information that was given to us told me that god had intended all along for him to be our son, it was his birthday. my heart skipped a beat after seeing what day he was born on. our son shares the same birthday as b's dad. how perfect is that? we went over all the other information, his birth family, his medical records, his foster family information and his recent well baby check up. he was so perfect for us. i held my tears in but let them flow later that day after thinking about all we had discovered. he is why we waited 21 months. it had to be the right time. 

here are some fun things that we learned about our son...

- he loves water and loves his bath times
- he is creeping and possibly crawling
- he's pulling himself to a standing position
-  he sleeps very well (this we could see was true based on his four sleeping pictures.)
- this is the one that melts my heart...he LOVES hugs!!! that is my son. i love them too sweet baby of mine!

so after talking about all his information it was time for us to leave. we said our goodbyes and left with pictures and information about our son. we couldn't wait to get to the car (we almost ran) so that we could call our family members. i of course texted a picture of our little guy to our parents and sisters so that they could see him. b called his mom and dad and i called my dad. we were both so very excited to finally be able to tell our parents about their grandson! b and i were beaming. we have a son. what an amazing feeling. we celebrated by going to starbucks and getting our favorite drinks! 

b had to go to work after the meeting so we didn't get to talk much. that night, we had one of the worst storms we've experienced in our house. we lost power for 21 hours. on tuesday night, we still did not have power but really wanted to figure out his full name. so while laying on our bed with battery operated tea lights...we looked through a baby name book. we had picked a couple names a long time ago and we really liked one of them but wanted to make sure it was the right name. we went through the millions of names and kept coming back to the same one. that's when we decided we didn't need to look any farther...we had his name already.

Oliver Yu-hyeon
oliver means peaceful and affectionate.....yu-hyeon means generous and kind.
it was perfect. it felt right. our oliver.

so now we are working on the acceptence paperwork. hopefully by friday, i will be able to drop it all off to our agency! 
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